If I Were the Devil

A Lamplighter Moment from Mark Hamby

If I were the Devil, the Prince of Darkness, what methods of deception would I use to rule the world? What areas of society would I target? What tactics would I employ? In the transcript below, Paul Harvey in 1965 airs one of the most astonishing monologues ever recorded. Now nearly 50 years later, everything that Paul Harvey said the Devil would have to do to rule the world, has come to pass. Paul Harvey was not a prophet nor were his words prophetic. How then did 100% of what he said in 1965 come true? Perhaps the Devil himself listened to the broadcast…what you are about to read will, without doubt, raise a few eyebrows and goosebumps. Enjoy…or rather, be appalled, with the rest of the story!

If I were the Devil, if I were the Prince of Darkness, I’d want to engulf the whole world in darkness and I would have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I wouldn’t be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree, thee.

So I would set about however necessary to take over the United States. I’d subvert the churches first. I’d begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: “Do as you please.”

To the young, I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what is bad is good and what is good is “square.” And the old, I would teach to pray after me: “Our Father which art in Washington.”

And then I’d get organized. I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d make TV look worse than movies and then make movies look worse than TV in a vicious cycle that just gets worse and worse. I’d peddle narcotics to whomever [sic] I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.

If I were the Devil, I’d soon have families at war with themselves, churches at war with themselves, and nations at war with themselves, until each in its turn was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings, I’d have mesmerizing media fanning the flames.

If I were the Devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellects but neglect to discipline emotions; just let those run wild until, before you knew it, you’d have to have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door. Within a decade, I’d have prisons overflowing. I’d have judges promoting pornography. Soon I could evict God from the courthouse, and then from the schoolhouse, and then from the houses of Congress. And in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion and deify science. I would lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls and church money. If I were the Devil, I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

If I were the Devil, I would take from those who have and give to those who wanted, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. And what will you bet I couldn’t get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get rich. I would caution against extremes in hard work, in patriotism, in moral conduct. I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging is more fun, that what you see on TV is the way to be and thus I could undress you in public and I could lure you into bed with diseases for which there is no cure.


 

Mark’s Pick of the Day

Amusing Ourselves to Death
Amusing Ourselves to DeathNeil Postman’s groundbreaking polemic about the corrosive effects of television on our politics and public discourse has been hailed as a twenty-first-century book published in the twentieth century. Amusing Ourselves to Death is a prophetic look at what happens when politics, journalism, education, and even religion become subject to the demands of entertainment.

The Disappearance of Childhood
Amusing Ourselves to Death - Neil PostmanThis modern classic of social history and media traces the precipitous decline of childhood in America today – and the corresponding threat to the notion of adulthood. Childhood and adulthood are eroding under the barrage of images, which turns the adult secrets of sex and violence into populare entertainment and pitches both news and advertising at the intellectual level of ten-year-olds.